I got to thinking about some of the funny travel-related things I have seen, heard, read or done over the years. I have been known to classify myself as anal, especially where travel is concerned!
Though, I think I have come a long way in curing myself of that in the last few years. I think it boils down to, the more you travel, the more you get used to dealing with things that can and do go wrong.
I remember reading a part in Dario Castagno’s book, Too Much Tuscan Sun, where he is leading a tour in Siena and announced his plans to take his group of American tourists to an authentic family owned Sienese trattoria for lunch. To his shock and amazement, the woman in the group puts her foot down and states that she didn’t come all this way to not have REAL ITALIAN FOOD and demands that they find an Olive Garden or Pizza Hut??!!
Uh, Hu-lo laaaaaaaaady!
So, I decided to run with this theme of travel bordering on the ridiculous and come up with a sort of Top Ten List- Jeff Foxworthy style, called You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You print menus off the Internet for every restaurant you have mapped out for your two-week trip and have circled your selections, so you can just show the waiter what you want to order.
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
After ponying up the hefty admission price to the Museum, you have a mental breakdown in line because you left your Rick Steves Guidebook back at the hotel and decide that you just can’t bring yourself to go in afterall; you simply cannot enjoy anything without his commentary!
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
Your train ticket, which you are planning to bring back as a souvenir and put in its rightful place in the scrapbook with the 42 others you have collected, blows out of your hand and onto the tracks in the Metro station and you actually consider jumping into oncoming train traffic to retrieve it?!
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
Fear of being away from home too long and the excitement of telling those you left behind all the details of your journey, forces you to frantically run back to your hotel once a day to leave hour-long play-by-plays on your answering machine for your cats!
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You have the airline’s phone number on speed dial and you call every hour during the three days leading up to your flight to make sure it hasn’t been cancelled.
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
In an effort to keep your cash and valuables safe, you have developed an unfortunate allergic rash across your belly from the duct tape you were using to secure your money and valuables to your person. Ouch!
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You bring forty rolls of film with you on vacation, just in case you run out, because they certainly don’t sell film where you are going.
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You cry, whine and mope the whole way through your once-in-a-lifetime gourmet dinner because you are so obsessed with the fact that you forgot to pack the earrings that go with your dress-that you don’t even remember what you ate.
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You develop an (unwelcome) intimate relationship with your hotel manager, because you call once a week to confirm your upcoming reservation - a double bed with a blue comforter, bed facing due North and exactly six white towels in the bathroom.
You Might be an Anal Traveler if…
You make twenty copies of your passport and credit cards and place them strategically in your house before you leave in case the real ones are lost or stolen on vacation. Then you mail a buried treasure style map to six different people, complete with clues, codes and riddles because you never want to make it too easy if you need help!
***
Time now for you to share! What is the most ridiculous travel related thing you have seen, heard, said or done?
March 2nd, 2009
What is wrong with them??? ISN’T that WHY you go to Italy duh
I don’t think I can be called an Anal Traveler…am positive I have done none of the above
Oh once going to a B and B in France..I specified a room, the Terrace, and knew what it looked like and where it was in the house..and the lady took me to a different one..I said “this isn’t the right room”…she said “Oh sorry, hey you know your rooms then”
March 2nd, 2009
I couldn’t beleive my eyes when I read that Anne! DUH, like real Italian food doesn’t exist in Italy?! And you’re not anal…you just know what you want
March 2nd, 2009
I’m not an anal traveler, quite the opposite which has gotten me into some trouble…like the time I found out that you can’t just skip out of the last leg of a three flight trip because you found a friend to pick you up in town 2…only to find out that 2 weeks later, because of being missing on flight 3, all my return tickets were canceled. I found my self stuck out of my country, but a little wheeling and dealing and some extra cash got me unstuck.
My most anal trait would be wanting to get to the airport real early so I can get through check-in without having to stand in line.
March 2nd, 2009
Does making up a 40 page travel book with all itineraries, phone numbers, maps to hotels, instructions for making international phone calls, phone number and emails to all the pre-paid guides (and copies of the receipts), Google Earth images of all city destinations, and historical overviews…and then sending copies to the others on the trip…and then getting snippy when said “others” couldn’t figure out how to dial back to the US when clearly it was on page 24 of The Book, which they clearly did not read ahead of time…does that make me an anal travel? Yeah, I did all that. But now I am hailed as The Ultimate Travel Planner. And we absolutely ate the local food. One of our companions did not drink wine!?! and I made darn sure she had a strawberry daquiri (fragula con rum) at every opportunity.
March 2nd, 2009
Meredith, I think THAT is called *learning your lesson the hard way* !! That must have been pretty scary for you. I know I would have been a little panicked!
March 2nd, 2009
ROTFL!!! Um, I don’t even know how to respond to that one Cristie, other than maybe we should help find you an ATA (Anal Travelers Anonymous) meeting!! You CAN get help
Ah, but look what good has come of it. All your friends will call you to plan their trips because you don’t miss a trick! Careful what you wish for…….
March 2nd, 2009
ha! I LOVE “Too Much Tuscan Sun”. I laughed the whole way through.
March 2nd, 2009
‘Twas a great read, wasn’t it Erin? I really enjoyed it!
March 2nd, 2009
I have read some of the books in your store…stupid question, do you earn something from people like me who order from there? I loved Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, loved it! I read Under the Tuscan Sun and loved that too. The Reluctant Tuscan was a very fun, delightful read. I’ve had the Heat book on my list to read. Thanks so much for the list of reads. I must check the rest out. I really love your blog MM…it makes me get that tingling feeling inside because of my love for my father’s home country! I miss him SO much and your blog is so comforting to me *sniffle*
March 2nd, 2009
I wish it were possible (or else I knew how) to post a photo in the comments area. On our flight home from Paris four years ago, a man and his teenage daughter were seated in front of us. The man suddenly slumped into the aisle. Alarmed, we asked his daughter if he was all right. She said, “Oh yeah. He just took a sleeping pill with Jack Daniels. He’s fine.”
A few minutes later, she took out a red Sharpie and her video camera and started doodling all over her father’s face and filming it! Everyone was laughing, including us, because he was passed out through the whole thing. I have a picture of her work, which I must say is QUITE good, and that is what I wish I could post.
Hours later, we finally land and disembark. We see the father and daughter shortly thereafter, a good dozen or so people ahead of us in the line at Customs. No one has said a word to the man; his daughter is gesturing to everyone behind his back to keep it quiet. He is walking through the airport with graffiti all over his face! Finally, he and his daughter get to the front of the Customs line and the official takes him out of line and back into an office. He finally emerges, laughing and scrubbing his face while his daughter is nearly doubled over in hysterics.
That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen while traveling!
March 2nd, 2009
In short answer to your Amazon ordering question, yes. Not much, but it helps me cover the costs of running the blog. And I am so glad my little ole blog can bring back good memories of your Dad.
xo
March 2nd, 2009
Marsi, great story! Hilarious!! I am sure my readers would appreciate the artists work. Please send me the photo to mymelange (at) yahoo (dot) com- and I will post it for the world to see
Thanks in advance for the laugh I am anticipating in advance
xo
March 2nd, 2009
That’s why I asked, if it helps you out then I’ll order from your store ;o) Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.
March 2nd, 2009
You betcha ;) And it doesn’t have to be books, either. Once you are in *my store* you can search and buy other items as well! Order away……
xo
March 3rd, 2009
I worked on one of those hop on hop off tour buses for a year when I was living in Rome. One thing you need to know about Rome is that there are places we would stop at where (at that time) you could get *pizza al trancio* (a long rectangular slice) for 1000 lira and there was always, always someone who would ask (grumpily I might add) where the nearest McDonald’s was.
March 3rd, 2009
“My name is Linda and I used to be an anal traveller.” Oh boy was I ever. On my first backpacking trip across Europe I booked every single hostel I was supposed to stay at a couple of months in advance. I wrote down a day-by-day itinerary, freaking out if we strayed from our tight schedule. Mind you, I was 18 at the time and it was my first trip sans parents or teachers. I’ve since learned from my paranoid past and take things a lot easier now. But I still, ahem, wear a money belt when I take an intercontinental flight. Can’t help it!
March 3rd, 2009
Oh, I betcha you have some good stories Joanne!
What is wrong with people? *eye-roll*
March 3rd, 2009
Ah, A reformed anal traveler! Welcome! And, ses there is hope for you Linda
Money belt is fine- just stay away from that duct tape!
xo
October 19th, 2011
Imagine the complete opposite of an anal traveler and you will see me!! Only got caught out once while backpacking in Europe. I was told that if I headed to Paris I would be able to stay at a particular hostel no matter what time I turned up (even if it meant sleeping on the floor). I turned up late after a long train trip to be told no way could I stay. Middle of the night, no idea where to go and a seedy area…was picked up by the police who kindly drove me to a hotel (5 Star) where I burst into tears at the concierge desk. Ahhh to be 20 again and backpacking…..
ciao lisa
Wow. That’s quite a story,Lisa! I can honestly say that I never backpacked through Europe in my 20′s – or at all for that matter. Your story reminds me why it might not have been the best idea for me. Can’t imagine I would have handled that well at that age (or this age)
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