Rome – It’s Not My Italy
You may remember that my first trip to Rome was a bit of a debacle. It wasn't exactly on my list of the Top 5, not even my Top 10 places to return to in Italy.
But, then a ridiculous airfare deal just dropped in my lap…and I am not one to say no to anything related to Italy, easily.
I was practically convinced that this trip to Rome would be so much better.
Why, you ask? Well, several reasons. Let's touch on them quickly, shall we?
1. We only visited Rome for 3 days the last time, which certainly wasn't enough. Armed with seven whole days, and a promise not to visit any museums, or repeat anything from our last visit, we were confident we would have a slower pace to take it all in.
2. In the months leading up to our trip, I had met some fabulous on-line friends who were going to be in Rome. A few even live there. Both expats and Romans alike. One in particular promised me that she would show me her Rome. How can you go wrong?
3. We were not staying in the touristy city center. This time we picked a cute Roman neighborhood. Surely that, plus my lists of must-eat trattorias, wine bars and cafes would go along way to keeping us happy.
So, with a whole week, no real plan, no museums, a camera, a fistful of Roman contacts, a positive attitude and an open mind, we headed for Rome. To give her yet another chance.
But like last time, we don't get very far before problems arise. A problem with the plane, reroutes us back to our gate. We arrive in Rome four hours later than scheduled.
Next we find that the trains which we planned to take into Rome are not running. No explanations, no confirmed strike. Just a lot of shoulder shrugging and an eerie silence in the train station.
An hour later and 65€ poorer, we were finally dropped off by taxi in front of our Bed and Breakfast, on a brightly lit afternoon. In 100 degree weather. In May. When average temps are normally a pleasant 70 degrees. Our luck had placed us in Rome at the exact time that a heat wave decided to grace the city.
And did I mention that I don't do heat? Which is why we didn't travel in say, July.
Which brings me to our accommodations. Oh, there was air conditioning alright. On a timer. From 8pm to 8am. Which incidentally is the coolest part of the day.
Oh, and then there was the fact that this was supposed to be a working vacation.
Brought the Blackberry and the laptop for just that purpose. Except the blackberry wasn't working and neither the B&B owner, nor I could figure out how to connect to the free-wifi.
So this was our second attempt at a nice Roman welcome. Yeah, right. I think the Roman welcome wagon lost a few wheels and was skidding out of control, headed straight for the Roman ruins.
For the life of me, I can't figure out why when Rome knows full well that we had a hard time getting there the last time, she would make it so hard for us to return- even with our open minds and hopeful hearts.
Rome was off to less than a stellar second start.
The rest of the week proved to be scorchingly hot. We scaled back on many of our fun-in-the-blinding- hot- sun daytime activities and sought shelter under the umbrella shaded tables where we enjoyed early lunches and followed them up with late afternoon siestas in our non-air conditioned room, sans clothes and sheets.
Most of the rest of the week was enjoyable and uneventful, except for the fact that on one of the last trains back from a get together with friends in Garbatella, I got off the Metro stop and, well, Chris didn't.
Oh and the time we took the bus, in the wrong direction, all the way out to the Termini station. And the time I almost got strong armed by a Italian secret service agent guarding a door when I tried to snap a photo of said door.
We did have a great time, wandering the smaller streets of Rome, exploring our Monti neighborhood, meeting up with friends, writers and fellow Italophiles, taking photo after photo, doing research for trip planning and experiencing some of the best pasta, wine, cappuccino and espresso that Rome had to offer.
But through it all, I felt like I was missing something. I couldn't quiet put my finger on it. It really wasn't a tangible thing. It was more like a feeling.
I never got that warm and fuzzy feeling I had when I spent time in other parts of Italy. Like in Venice, Tuscany or Florence.
Visiting those places made me want to live there. I felt a connection. But with Rome, even the second time around, not so much.
In Rome, I was missing that feeling. That connection. Rome is a big city- and I am not really a big city girl. But I think it runs deeper than that because Paris is also a big city, but in Paris, I had the feeling.
Unlike Paris, Rome is not a place where you simply stroll along the river, because the river is cloudy and there is really nothing charming about the quays. There is no ivy dripping down the walls, there aren't any boats trolling tourists to and fro, no neon-signed bars on anchored barges with a sophisticated vibe.
I think Rome is more of a gritty city. If Rome could talk it think it would say:
"Take me as I am- I don't care if you like me or not. I am not gonna change for you. Graffiti will stay where it is, I will not pretty myself up for anyone. I have survived thousands of years, there is blood on these streets, you wouldn't believe what I have been through, I could tell some grizzly stories. So, I have earned my right to be just as I am. Take me or leave me, I don't care. And if you don't like it…I'll kick your ass! You got something to say about it? "
And there is nothing right or wrong about that. It's just the way it is.
So after sitting with all of this for a month or so after my return from Rome, I think I have learned several things that I'd like to share.
First, and most importantly, I am still in love with Italy, but Rome isn't really my bag baby. Rome, is not my Italy.
And I say that from the standpoint of someone searching to find a connection with an area in Italy that will make me happy and comfortable spending considerable amounts of time, and possibly living, in.
And in this case, Rome will not be my home.
Don't misunderstand me. Rome is a city not to be missed. For its history, its architecture, its churches, its food, its people and its culture. For visiting.
Will I visit Rome again? Absolutely. Will I continue to recommend it to clients, plan trips, give restaurant suggestions? Most definitely.
And though I won't be headed back on the next flight to Rome anytime soon (simply because there are so many places in Italy I have yet to explore {Calabria, Liguria, Cinque Terre, Umbria, Piedmonte} and need to find my Italy) there are still many layers of Rome that I need and would like to uncover at another time down the road.
Secondly, I also learned Rome is best explored in small doses, not for weeks at a time or years on end. Perhaps my love for Rome will grow years from now, when I can visit for just a few days at a time, as a weekend getaway perhaps. Or while getting together with the native Romans and expat friends who call Rome home, sharing stories about their Italy.
For now, I will have to be content with helping others explore Rome through my eyes, now somewhat clouded.
But, I still long for the day that I can appreciate Rome as an expat, while living in my Italy. Wherever my Italy happens to be.
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July 6th, 2009
I think your quote of what Rome would say is dead on – if only because when I read it I was like, HELL YES!
July 6th, 2009
I agree Rome is grittier than Florence, Venice or Milan (but Naples is def. grittier. That city is a trip).
I think your Rome quote is so funny. New Yorkers have the same attitude.
In bocca al lupo with finding “your” Italy. You’ll know it the minute you step on its soil.
July 6th, 2009
ha Miss Expatria!
July 6th, 2009
Loving that Calabria is first on that list of places to explore
July 6th, 2009
I agree Rome didn’t leave me with the warm and fuzzies. Great place for history!I’m more a small town ruins girl!
July 6th, 2009
Your quote of what Rome would say if it could talk, was, in my opinion, so very Roman! Ha!
It sounds like you went into it with open eyes, and while they are now somewhat clouded (as you say), it looks like they are still open. And yes, you will find your Italy. 
You totally will.
July 6th, 2009
More thumbs up for the Rome dialogue
It seems Rome has quite the
attitude problem!
July 6th, 2009
I think I might pass on Rome..you don’t paint a very good picture of it..I love The Lakes..lake Como, Liguria..so yet to do other areas,,,and I love Sicily. I think Florence would do it for me!!
July 6th, 2009
Oh yes, girl after my own heart. I am a*smaller* town girl myself
July 6th, 2009
I tried. Truly I did! I am convinced I will find it, Tina!
July 6th, 2009
Ha! Attitude problem, love that!! Funny thing is, the people were just great! I just think it is the CITY itselfthat kicks my butt! Don’t even get me started on thebuses. Oh, LORD!
July 6th, 2009
Oh, no!! Just want I didn’t want to happen
I still WANT you and everyone to visit. At least once. You just have to make up your own mind, Anne. There is too much history there to pass on it entirely. xo
July 6th, 2009
I really can not blame you. I was there for four weeks and some of that time was in the beginning of May. Rome is not really Italy if you ask me. it is Roman. A whole different animal all together. Some like it. Some oo not. I am the “do not” crowd. It is too noisy, crowded and the Romans are far too gruff. I also had some contacts in Rome and you know what, they stood me up! I could not believe it! That is just so rude.
Yes Rome is full of historical treasures but if you have combat the people all the time then it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Also there are alot of scammers about near the tourist attractions. I even heard of a story where a tourist had her camera ripped out of her hand by one of those Roman soilders and he demanded money to give it back. The police do not help you out unless you speak fluent italian which most tourists do not.
I may have an explanation as to what happened with the train though. On my last day in Rome my train broke down because too many Romans crowded into it and one of the doors broke. So they probably had to get a replacement train and yours might have been that particular one.
I adore Italy but will not spend more then a few days in Rome now.
July 6th, 2009
Hi Richard! Thank youso much for validating my feelings. Ilike what you said about Rome being Roman, and not so much Italy, itself. I think you hit the nail on the head!
So,sorry you were stood up! That is rude!
Here is to better experiences for the both of us in Rome! And maybe my train will have doors next time
Cheers!
July 6th, 2009
That was a very interesting post.
July 6th, 2009
Well, thanksAnne. I am glad you thought soxo
July 7th, 2009
Pretty interesting post ! Ive dreamed for visiting Rome. I hope next year to be able my trip.
Anyway 3 days are not enough for visiting all the interesting places in Rome.
July 7th, 2009
Roma is a large city that is difficult to get to know – one or two trips probably just begin to scratch the surface. But like you in some respect, althpough I love Roma, it is not where I would want to live in Italia either. The sheer experience of being in Roma, of walking into St Peter’s Square, or seeing the Colliseum, all are emotional moments. But the city for me is a history jaunket like visits to Philadelphia or New York City or Boston. I love those cities and miss them (I lived in Fairfield County, CT all my childhood and visited NYC bi-weekly, and lived in Philadelphia for 7 yrs.) but I would not call any of them home either. Worth nseeing just not the vilage of my dreams!
July 12th, 2009
Ciao,
I’m sorry you had another badish experience with my favorite city. I’ve been there 13 (including many in the hot weather)times and was planning #14 for this fall except my stock market bit didn’t cooperate. So 2010 it will be and for a month. I’ve done three weeks and since then no week or 10 day time has been enough. I also have to admit I go just about everywhere in the city by bus. Maybe the third time will be the charm.
July 13th, 2009
Wow!13 times. I think that makes you an offical Romani!! I hope thatnumber 3 will be the charm
November 7th, 2009
I can’t agree with you more. Although I only spent two days there, I got a very similar love/hate feeling that I have with Manhattan. You can’t ignore the history, or the fact that you could be walking around any random corner to stumble upon the most magnificent sites, much of which seems lost on the residents. But on the flip side many Italians in this city are downright rude, vehicle traffic is the worst I’ve ever seen anywhere in the world and graffiti, grime and dirt permeate this city. I would be game for another visit, but, like you said, there is so much more of Italy out there to see that would be infinitely more welcoming.
November 7th, 2009
Bri, I am so glad you can relate. We can both spend time discovering and trying to find *our* Italy!! Thanks for your thoughts